I feel like my classroom has become a revolving door. As soon as we get settled at 20, someone transfers. I have my original maybe 13 out of 17…I have gotten 5 new ones since the beginning and a new one is starting tomorrow. That puts us at 18 which means we still have 2 more spots to fill…that is, if no one else decides to transfer or leave.
I got emotional at TAL training this weekend when a TFA staff member asked what our biggest challenges were in becoming a TAL teacher. I said, “it hurts me emotionally every time a student leaves my classroom…no matter the reason. I love welcoming new ones into my class, but at some point I am spending all my time creating a fantastic classroom culture and less time actually being an effective TAL teacher.”
When I said, “it hurts,” I mean that. It hurts my heart so much to see a child leave my classroom. I love each and everyone of my students for all of their very unique differences. Everyone of my students has something special about them, I get tears in my eyes everytime I get an email about a transfer. I often spend a moment questioning my abilities as a teacher and blame myself for not doing more…but most of the time, it is nothing I can fix. It is because of where they live or car troubles or moving…It isn’t me or my coteacher and yet…it still hurts.
I wake up each morning loving my job. No matter what is going on…no matter if I have paperwork up to my ears…no matter if I have 3 staff meetings in one week…I still LOVE my job. I hope that the revolving door closes after tomorrow so that I can move forward and really become an effective TAL teacher.
On to Wednesday my friends, on to Wednesday.