Today I felt very restless. I couldn’t figure out why. I thought about it for a while and all I could think about were my kiddos. I took Friday off because I wasn’t in town and that means I haven’t seen them in 3 days. I think my restlessness is because I honestly miss them. In moments where I feel uncertainty and unsure of where I am in my life and what I’m doing are immediately replaced with thoughts of the 16 children I wake up for every single day. I have these funny moments where I laugh at myself that I think I should share.
On Friday, my coteacher sent me a picture of my kiddos and it said, “we miss you ms. Helmick!” I laughed, and then teared up a little…I set my phone down and then picked it up to count how many students were in the picture…there were 16! This is funny because even though I wasn’t there that day, I so badly wanted all 16 of my babies to be at school. We are trying so hard for perfect attendance and we are starting to accomplish it! I had to laugh at myself because 6 months ago I could have begged to have one or two students absent to help relieve me from the stress of being by myself in a classroom all day. Now, I am begging them all to be there every single day and I get mad at myself when they miss because I feel like I could have done something, even when I probably couldn’t!
On Saturday, when I received my iPad, thanks Apple and TFA, I downloaded every free book and application that my pre-k students could utilize…and then showed all my friends the games and books…not everything else cool the iPad could do! I just have to laugh at myself sometimes!
It is amazing how much my life has changed over the past few months, for the better. These kids are changing me as much as I am changing them. I am the happiest and yet the poorest I have ever been but I can’t find a complaint in my body, even when I try. If you think about the negative, it will take over your life, and honestly, I just don’t have time for that!